A dry/unprepared vagina should be considered the same as a flaccid penis

 As in, not ready for sex. As in, it would be as ridiculous to try to have sex with an unprepared vagina as it is to try to have sex with a flaccid penis. Have you ever tried to have PIV or anal sex with a flaccid penis? It just doesnt work.

Now, not always. Many people with vaginas sometimes have a disconnect with their minds (me being one of them), where their mind is ready but for whatever reason, their vagina is not wet/prepared for sex. In that case, the other person needs to clarify if theyre ready or ask what they need to get ready.

If theyre ready but their body isnt following, load up on the lube and follow their lead. If theyre not ready, this offers a safe place to explain their needs and wants to enjoy sex.

A vagina is not a hole that can be used at any time no matter the condition, just like how a penis is not a rod that can be used at any time no matter the condition. Barring a medical condition or another reason the person’s vagina is usually not wet, PIV should not occur until the vagina is wet/prepared or until the other person directly asks if theyre ready; and if not, what they need to get ready.

I’ve experienced a lot of sex when i was dry/unprepared. Its not fun. I started to avoid sex because it often hurt or felt like an annoying chore i had to suffer through, which hurt my bf and our relationship. I had to learn to demand what i needed for my pleasure and not just his, and he had to learn to listen to me.

(By demand, i dont mean “we do everything my way and focus entirely on me or no sex”, i mean “i need you/us to do certain things for sex to be equally enjoyable, not just what you need to get your nut. My nut matters too.”)

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